Jessica Belmosto

Everyone has a definition of what a friend is. Certain friends are part of our lives for a short amount of time, and some stay forever. Regardless, they’re pretty important to have. This would be a boring blog if I talked about how my friendships have failed. You wouldn’t learn anything other than that I’m a people pleaser and a bit of a push over. So, let’s talk about how important it is to have healthy friendships.

Friends come and go. We all know that. I bet you aren’t friends with the girl you wore a “BFF” necklace with in fifth grade. If you are, good for you. If not, that’s totally okay! Everyone grows. Friends are like shoes. Sometimes you grow into them. Sometimes you grow out of them. Sometimes, you find the perfect one.

I wouldn’t consider this advice but rather little reminders. It’s important to remember that friendships are a two way street!

Communication works both ways. You can’t rely on the other person to text you first, but it also shouldn’t always be coming from you. It’s hard to tell someone when you’re upset with them. There’s no point in being passive aggressive. Nothing gets accomplished and bottling up resentment doesn’t help anyone.

Your friends are not your therapists. I know, that’s a really tough pill to swallow. It took me a long time to realize that you cannot fix your friends and friends cannot fix you. Please remember that everyone has things going on.

Balance. It’s so important to not put all your eggs in one basket. I can’t tell you how many times I felt used because I had a car. I never asked for gas money, and rarely ever received it. It was hard, but I set boundaries and it was beneficial.

It’s okay to say, No! It’s not a crime to put yourself first. The world will not come crumbling down because you can’t pick someone up or have to turn something down. Guilt is a useless emotion. I promise, it’s going to be okay!

I could write a list of lessons I learned and this would easily become a 10,000 word piece. No one has time in that. If you need to cut someone off, do it. Sometimes friends need breaks!

It took me a long time, but I’ve found my circle. All of these people came into my life by accident or because we’re fans of the same podcast. It’s a bit odd having people in my life who are genuine. I’m not used to grabbing dinner after work. I’m certainly not used to being checked up on. I’ve never felt more like myself around a group of people. My heart is so full. I’m never going to get tired of these guys!